


Worth It

by KrazzeeAJ1701



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/M, Female Jim Kirk, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-01-29 15:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrazzeeAJ1701/pseuds/KrazzeeAJ1701
Summary: They took the ship from her, he knew they would the second he saw the report. Yet, as usual, Jim was unwavering in her assertion that it was the right thing. She thought the trouble, while extreme, was worth it. Chris thought the same thing about her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from or where it's going, if it goes anywhere, but it was clawing it's way out and I had no choice. My Pirk muse has a mind of it's own.

"Jim, I know you're upset," Chris said, blocking her from leaving their apartment. He could tell that she wanted to avoid him but, for some reason he hadn't fully figured out, she was doing a crappy job at it. As expected, she glared at him but didn't say anything. "Jim…"

"You're aware of my schedule, sir. If you need to speak with me, I'm sure your yeoman could set aside some time," she told him as calmly as she could muster.

"I need an appointment to see my girlfriend?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Oh, so now I'm your girlfriend?" Jim asked, a slight growl tainting her voice.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He knew she was mad, hell, he was mad but they both knew that his job made him responsible for her actions and that he was well within his right to chew her out for what she did. He didn't exactly enjoy any of it, especially considering the newness of this part of their relationship.

Contrary to the rumors that ran rampant through the Academy, he and Jim were never together when she was a cadet. Hell, they weren't together immediately after Nero either. The subject didn't even come up until six months ago when he got a comm from McCoy that Jim was miserable. The good doctor, who was also her best friend, figured out that Chris was the most constant thing in her life and she missed him. So, he did what any good friend/mentor would do, he upped his comms to check on her a few times a week. Because Jim was flirty with most people, it took Chris two months to realize that she was serious. Of course, he was in a bit of trouble when that epiphany happened.

Chris was asked to handle the official induction of a planet to the Federation, one where he made first contact during one of his early commands. Everything was set to go off without a problem but some of the locals weren't exactly thrilled with the idea of joining the UFP and they decided to make an example out of Chris and his small team. He was about to be beheaded when Jim, Sulu, that big guy she calls Cupcake and a bunch of redshirts crashed the party. He could still see the look in her deep blue eyes when she cut him free and made a quip about how they needed to stop meeting like that. The rest, as they say, is history.

"You made it very clear how you feel about me violating regulations. As you have been reassigned as the commanding officer of the Enterprise and I am now your first officer, an interpersonal relationship between us would violate Starfleet regulation one-one-three-eight; 'Starfleet members may not engage in business or romantic relationships with superiors in their direct chain of command, inasmuch as this may be harmful to discipline and/or the functioning of the organization.' Clause Gamma covers relationships between an officer and their immediate subordinates, while Clause Theta prohibits a commanding officer from being in a relationship with any other member of their unit. So, I'm either your girlfriend and you're breaking the regs or I'm not. Or do _you_ 'think the rules don't apply to you because you disagree with them'?"

The silence that hung in the room was deafening. Not because she was wrong but because she was right and they both knew it. Chris was as much a rule follower as Jim was a rule breaker, which is to say that they both took issue some of Starfleet's rules and found ways around them. He didn't really think about it when he took her to task for violating the Prime Directive that afternoon or when he asked Marcus to let him keep Jim as his XO. Now that he was thinking about it, they were in a tough spot. His words to her earlier, the words she just repeated, hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Look, I'm probably just gonna resign my commission anyway," she said with a dejected sigh. "Make everyone happy and save you the headache. I'll try to talk Bones into staying. He hates space but he's good at what he does."

"So are you," Chris said quietly. He didn't know a whole lot of people who could quote regulations at the drop of a hat like that, which made him even more frustrated with her. Jim knew exactly which rules she was breaking but she broke them anyway.

"No, I'm not," Jim said. "Everyone knows I'm not. I'm just a dumb farm kid who got lucky and my luck ran out."

"So, that's it? You're just gonna walk away?" he asked. "Leave Starfleet? Leave me? That's not like you."

"No, joining Starfleet isn't like me. I'm only here because you sat across that table and told me that I could do it. You made me believe, for the first time in my life, that I was worth something more than a dead man's ghost. I have spent the last four years listening to people waiting and wishing and hoping that I failed. When the shit hit the fan, I was right there, despite everything, doing what needed to be done to save billions of people. Not because I'm a Starfleet officer but because it was the right thing to do. It's what you were trying to do. And I knew… I knew when that jump from lieutenant to captain held and they gave me that ship that it was for the PR. I accepted it because I also knew that you had to give a recommendation to the brass on whether I could handle it. I thought that I had someone in my corner but apparently, I was wrong…"

"Jim…"

"I saved a world, Chris. I saved a whole world and the people living on that world. Mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters and children. I saved a world and I'm being punished for it. I'm being punished for doing the same thing that got me command in the first place. Nobody complained when I broke the rules to save Earth. It got swept aside in favor of saving face with the Federation citizens. A year later, I do the same damn thing for another planet and _now_ I'm in trouble. Does the brass really think that those lives on Nibiru aren't as important as ours? That those lives aren't worth saving? If that's what they think, I don't want any part of it. That is not what my father died for."

He heard the words she said but also the words she didn't say. Jim always believed that everyone deserved a chance. George Kirk had died to ensure that Jim had hers. She was willing to die if it meant someone else had theirs. People often mistook her willingness to sacrifice herself as the reckless arrogance of someone who didn't have to worry about anything. What most people don't know –or want to know- is that she worries about everything.

Growing up in her father's shadow, Jim has never felt validated in who she is as a person until she took command of the Enterprise. He saw the video feeds from the bridge when he was in the hospital, watched her as she strode over to the chair and took control of an unimaginable mess. Even covered in sweat and bruises, she looked like she owned the place. Every command was sure, every action measured. Barnett once described her as 'controlled chaos' and it couldn't have been a more accurate description. That was her element, the one place she called her own. Now, it wasn't hers anymore.

"I didn't ask for this, Jim," Chris said, cupping her face in his hands. His actions had two purposes; the first was to force her to look at him, the second was because she's a very tactile person. He watched as her whole body relaxed at the contact, despite how upset she was. "The last thing I wanted was to see you lose that ship."

"Well, it's gone." She let out a sigh, her hands reaching up to wrap around his wrists. "That doesn't even bother me."

"Losing the Enterprise doesn't bother you?"

"Okay, it might bother me a little. Not as much as it would have if they had given her to anyone else. She was always supposed to be your ship, so I know you'll take care of her. My problem is that I lost you."

"I'm not going anywhere and I'm not the one talking about resigning," Chris reminded her.

"'I gave you my ship because I saw a greatness in you. And now, I see you haven't got an ounce of humility.' Oh, and I love the part about not having respect for the chair. I thought you, of all people, knew me better than that." Jim sighed.

"Oh, sweetheart, I didn't mean that. Not in that way, at least," he told her. Chris didn't realize how it sounded until she repeated it; it sounded like he gave up on her. "There is nobody, and I do mean nobody, that I believe in more than you. That said, you are an infuriating pain in the ass."

"How exactly is that news?" she asked with a small smile. Jim gave his arms a little tug and he let her go. Unsurprisingly, she stepped closer to him, wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her face against his neck. "You know that if I stay, we can't be together. If I resign, we'll never see each other."

"I know," Chris said with a nod. "I'm sure that we'll figure it out. You, my dear, have this annoying habit of finding loopholes."

"I prefer calling them third options. And everything I've come up so far with just leads to more trouble," Jim told him with a groan. "I don't really care what happens to me but I can't let you ruin your career… Not for me."

"It'd be worth it." He smiled before pressing a kiss on her temple.

"Two plus decades of honorable service in exchange for your trouble-making girlfriend of four months? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard and I've listened to some of Komack's speeches." She chuckled.

"They are pretty bad," Chris agreed, holding her tight against him. "You'd still be worth it."

"Chris…"

"I could always find another career, sweetheart. I can't find another Jim Kirk. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I fell into the Pirk trash can.

"This is Pike," Chris said into his communicator.

"Admiral," Spock said, "Mister Scott has found something. He has requested to see us right away."

"Mister Spock, I…" Chris started but he was cut off by his best friend taking the device from his hands.

"He'll be there shortly, Commander. Boyce out." Phil closed the communicator and handed it back to him. "Go."

"Jim…"

"Will be drugged out of her mind for the next few hours. Sitting here and staring isn't gonna help anybody, least of all her. I'm sure McCoy and I can keep her alive while you go see what Scott found." Phil gave Chris' shoulder a squeeze as they both looked at the woman sleeping on the bio-bed.

Chris could admit that he was annoyed when they were summoned to the Daystrom Conference Room at Starfleet Headquarters for an Emergency session. For the first time in months, he got to have a real, face-to-face conversation with Jim. In addition to her demotion, she expressed fear in not knowing who she was without the Enterprise. It was actually a feeling he knew all too well, having experienced it when he was confined to a wheelchair and stuck on desk duty. Once everything was all said and done, he was downright pissed.

Admiral Marcus had called the meeting of all the commanding officers in the area to inform them of a bombing at the Kelvin Memorial Archive in London, killing 42 people. Apparently, the attack was executed by one Starfleet officer, Lieutenant Thomas Harewood, on behalf of another rogue officer, Commander John Harrison. In looking over the images from the scene, Jim started asking questions about why Harrison would choose an archive as a target. She surmised, correctly, that what Harrison was really after was their meeting.

The jumpship that dropped in outside the conference room took everyone -save Jim- by surprise. Abbott from the Bradbury was the first to go down, followed by Admiral Giorgio and after that, Chris lost track. He should've seen the shot coming but he was too busy worrying about everyone else. It wasn't until Jim slammed into him, taking the phaser blast to her back, that he realized just how close he was to losing his life and how close she was to losing hers.

"This is my fault." Chris let out a sigh.

"You shot up Daystrom? Should I have those security officers come in here?" Phil asked.

"Stop being an ass, you know what I mean. She got hurt protecting me."

"Funny, I had this same conversation with her after Nero. 'This is all my fault' she said. 'He got hurt trying to protect us.' Do you wanna know what I told her?"

"No, but I'm sure you're about to tell me."

"You're right, I am. People like you, and her, have seen some of the worst things in the universe and you have both made it your job to ensure that others don't have to suffer. Sometimes, the person you're protecting is nameless and faceless. Other times, it's someone you know, maybe even someone you care about. When the shit hit the fan, Kirk had a choice to make and she decided that your life was more important to her then anything else. Was it reckless and little crazy? Sure. But that's why you recruited her. It's part of the reason you love her."

Chris hadn't told Phil what was going on between him and Jim, but he wasn't surprised that the doctor knew. Phil had a way of seeing things that other people didn't, especially where Chris was concerned. Which meant that, much as it irritated him, Phil was right and Chris couldn't just sit on his hands while Harrison was out there somewhere.

"I hate you sometimes," Chris said with a chuckle.

"I have that way about me." Phil smiled. "Seriously, Chris, she's gonna be fine. She'll probably be more worried about you then herself."

"She does that. You'll let me know when she wakes up?"

"You'll be the second person I comm."

"Second?"

"Her mother's first. That woman scares the crap outta me," Phil said.

"Could be worse; you're not the one in love with her daughter." Chris rose from his seat and pressed a kiss on Jim's brow, then her nose, then her lips. "I'll be back soon, sweetheart."

* * *

"How is the captain… Commander Kirk, sir?" Spock asked as they fell into step with each other outside HQ.

"She is sleeping soundly. Boyce has her on pain meds and a sedative while he fixes the damage. It's a little complicated because she has some allergies but you already knew that," Chris said. According to Jim, there wasn't much Spock didn't know since she finds it useless to lie to him. "Can't believe she jumped on me like that."

"I can," Jim's -former- first officer told him. "It is her nature."

"I suppose that's true." Chris smiled. "You know I didn't ask for the Enterprise back, right?"

"I am aware, sir," Spock said before pausing. "May I make a personal query?"

"Sure."

"Do you believe I 'threw her under the bus'?"

"No, Mister Spock. Neither does she, really. Everyone has been waiting for her to screw up since she was a kid. When she made the decision to save Nibiru, she knew it was a risk but she refused to watch as another planet was destroyed. And when she decided to save your life, she was just sticking her neck out for someone she cares about. Lying on the report, while not the worst thing she could've done, opened the door to have all her decisions picked apart. But no, you didn't throw her under the bus or stab her in the back, you did your job."

"That does not alleviate my role in her demotion."

"It doesn't but she's not holding it against you. In fact, she's more upset at herself," Chris said before taking a breath. "Now, you have any idea what Scott found?"

"Only that involves Harrison's jumpship, sir," Spock said. If he didn't know any better, Chris could swear he heard something in Spock's voice.

Since he -literally- had his arms full when the jumpship went down, he didn't find out until later that Spock had been the cause, throwing a phase rifle into one of the turbines. Apparently, the commander got the idea from a stunt Jim pulled on one of the Enterprise's first missions.

Their vastly different reports from Nibiru aside, Jim and Spock were probably the most in sync command team in the fleet. While they didn't agree on everything, they did have this ability to play off each other's strengths and compensate for each other's weaknesses. For most command crews, it could take years to reach that level of understanding and closeness, but they almost seemed destined to serve together. It was another reason why Jim's demotion and Spock's reassignment were such a waste.

"Admiral!" Scott called to him. "I figured out how the bastard got away."

Chris nodded. "Okay, how?"

"This," the engineer held up a piece of gear, "is a portable transwarp beaming device."

"Like your transwarp project?" Chris asked.

"Aye, sir. It's the same formula that I've been working with. Now, according to this thing, he bounced himself to a few places first but his ultimate destination… You're not gonna like it." Scott turned the device so that Chris and Spock could see the panel. _Destination: 43 89 26 05_

"Is that where I think it is, Mister Spock?" the admiral asked.

"I believe it is, sir," Spock said with a slight nod.

Chris let out a groan. "You're right, Mister Scott. I don't like it."

* * *

"You have a moment, sir?" Chris asked as soon as he walked into his mentor's office. There was a meeting going on but Marcus seemed a little more than annoyed with the whole thing. "Harrison's not on Earth anymore. He's on Qo'noS."

"Give us the room," Marcus told the other officers, who scattered in under a minute. "Qo'noS, huh? He defecting?"

"I don't know. According to Spock, he's in the Ketha Province. Used to be farm land, now it's uninhabited, has been for decades. I'm assuming that he knows if we even think about going into Klingon space, we'll have another war on our hands."

"Another war with the Klingons is inevitable. In some ways, it's already begun."

"You still touting that line, Alex?" Chris asked with a smile. Marcus has been prepping for war with the Klingons for as long as Chris has known him. Considering that Alex served under Chris' dad, they've known each other a very long time. They actually came close in 2244 after the scrimmage at Donatu V but it was resolved before either side got too upset.

"Come on, Chris," Marcus said, offering him a seat, "the Klingon Empire has conquered and occupied three planets that we know of and fired on our ships more half a dozen times in the last decade."

"That hardly sounds like a war."

"It's coming. And this whole thing… Your girl was right," Marcus told him. Chris had to stop himself from asking what Marcus meant by that or getting defensive. This isn't the first time someone has referred to her that way, it won't be the last. "What Kirk said about Harrison bombing a library. London was not an archive, it was a top-secret facility for Section Thirty-One."

"Black ops? How the hell did Harrison…? He worked there, didn't he?" Chris asked. It was the obvious answer.

"Yes. The team there was developing advanced defense technology and training select officers to gather intelligence on the Klingons and any other potential enemy who means to do us harm. Harrison was one of our top agents."

"Why did he go rogue?"

"I don't know."

"How much does he know?"

"Enough."

"Is there a plan to catch him?"

"Commander Spock said that the area he's in is uninhabited?" Marcus asked.

"Yes, sir." Chris nodded.

"Okay. As part of our defensive strategy, Thirty-One developed a new photon torpedo." Marcus punched in a command on his console and pulled up a hologram. "Long range and untraceable, it would be invisible to Klingon sensors. I don't want you to get hurt but I do want to take him out. You park on the edge of the Neutral Zone, you lock onto Harrison's position, you fire, you kill him and you haul ass."

"You want me to fire torpedoes at the Klingons?" Chris asked. That didn't even remotely sound right.

"Yes. They can't be traced and the Enterprise is one of the fastest ships in the fleet. Nobody will even know you were there. Go get that son of a bitch, then come home."

"Yes, sir," Chris said. There was nothing else for him to say, really. "Permission to assign Mister Spock as my First Officer while Kirk is in the hospital?"

"Granted," Marcus said. "How she doing?"

"Still unconscious but Phil says everything looks good," Chris said.

"Glad to hear it." The look on Chris' face must've been something because Marcus smiled. "No matter how I may feel about her actions, I don't dislike Kirk."

"Doesn't look that way from where she's sitting."

"She's broke the rules, Chris."

"Anyone can blindly follow rules, not everyone can do the right thing."

"She say that?" Marcus asked.

"No, you did back in forty-six when I almost quit."

When Admiral Straczeskie, one of his father's friends, asked Chris to take the assignment, he never could've imagined almost losing his career in the process. Captain Kamnach, the then-commanding officer of the Aldrin, was a good man and had a reputation as a good commander, however, he started raising some eyebrows at Starfleet Command when it appeared that he was taking the law into his own hands. Chris, a lieutenant commander at the time, was assigned to the Aldrin as the temporary XO for their mission to the Vestian border.

During the mission, Kamnach launched an unprovoked attack on a Vestian vessel, killed over four dozen people and had the official logs altered to provide justification. Seeing no other option, Chris relieved him from duty. However, when they got back to earth, Chris was somehow the one who got charged for mutinying against his captain. Everything was dismissed following a court-martial and Kamnach was forcibly retired but there was a point during the whole thing where Chris considered walking away. Marcus told him that, while he technically broke the rules, he did the right thing.

"She's thinking about leaving Starfleet?" Marcus asked. Chris just nodded. "She's got too much potential to walk away, Chris."

"She's a captain, Alex. Not because the Admiralty gave her the rank, but because that's who she is. That's why I pulled her out of that damn bar. You didn't see the look on her face when I told her that you were taking the Enterprise from her. The way the light in her eyes just disappeared."

"She violated the prime directive and lied on an official report."

"I know. She understands that the way she went about it was wrong but she's not too keen on siting around and being punished for saving lives and I can't say I blame her, especially after what we went through with Vulcan," Chris said, rising from his seat. "I should get a move on. Harrison's not gonna wait around for me."

"Be careful, Chris."

"Yes, sir."


	3. Chapter 3

"What did you do to my... sorry, _your_ chief engineer?" Jim asked warily over vid-comm. Phil still had her in the hospital, but she looked a lot better. With any luck, she'll get to sleep in their bed tomorrow.

"I didn't do anything, I just reminded him of our orders," Chris said. "And not just him. Half the senior staff won't talk to me and the other half is arguing with me. Am I missing something or has everyone on this ship lost their minds?"

Other then 'yes, sir', 'no, sir' and 'aye, sir', Sulu and Chekov haven't said a word to him since they ship left spacedock. Uhura's dialog is more extensive, but only because of her duties. Lieutenant Masters, Scott's right-hand woman in engineering, has sent him report after report to complain about how the torpedoes were interfering with systems or taking up space they didn't have. McCoy just complained in general. And Spock was being particularly passive aggressive.

"'Lost their minds' as in they're not doing their jobs and being insubordinate or they're just not being nice to you?" she asked.

"I don't need them to be nice to me, Jim. I need them to do their jobs," he told her.

"So, why won't you let them? Bones and Spock, aside from their normal duties, have the daunting task of making sure my head's not up my ass. Which, sometimes, means arguing with me, now you. Scotty, whether he knows it or not, is the ship's moral compass. If he thinks something is wrong, it's wrong. Full stop," she said knowingly.

"He told you what's going on?"

"Only that you tried to force him to take on a payload of experimental weapons that he can't scan so he and Keenser resigned in protest."

"Special torpedoes from Section Thirty-One."

"Since when do we have access to something like that?"

"Since Marcus gave them to me."

"Admiral Marcus had super-secret Section Thirty-One ordnance just laying around and you don't find that odd? I'm high as a kite right now and I think it's odd. I mean, yesterday, this was about a rogue Starfleet officer blowing up an archive. Now, it's about firing super torpedoes at the Klingons. You're smarter than me, babe, you know something's up."

"I'm more experienced then you, not smarter. And I have my orders, Jim," he said. Even as the words came out of his mouth, it felt hollow. Following orders and doing the right thing used to be synonymous, he wasn't sure when that changed.

"Not everything is about orders. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if that was the case. If it was about orders, it would be simple and you would just go do what you're told and not think twice about it." She looked at him for a moment. "But it's not simple, is it?"

"There are eleven hundred people on this ship."

"One thousand, one hundred and fourteen, actually," Jim corrected.

"If I follow my orders, I turn these kids into murderers and possibly start a war. If I don't follow my orders… who knows what will happen. We could try to catch Harrison or ask the Klingons to give us Harrison. But either way, the brass won't like it," Chris said with a sigh.

For the last year, his job at HQ was to oversee the operations of a dozen ships and, unless it was important, he didn't have to make these decisions. Before that, he'd been at the academy for almost five years. Chris knew what he wanted to do and he knew what he should do, but that wasn't necessarily the same as what he was ordered to do. If this is what Jim felt like all the time, it's a miracle that she hadn't gone off the rails yet.

"Welcome to my world of constantly trying to figure out just where the line is and if I should cross it," she said. "You know, this is the issue I've been having with the Admiralty since I showed up, right?"

"I know. I'm just not sure what I should do here, which is uncommon for me. Used to be that orders and the right thing were one in the same."

"Hate to break it to you but that's not how Starfleet works anymore." He could tell from the look on her face how resigned she was to that fact. "What's left of the Admiralty is more concerned with appearances then substance. What happened after Nibiru is a perfect example. You want my two credits?"

"Please."

"It doesn't matter what your orders are. You know that firing those torpedoes, special or not, will undoubtedly start a war with the Klingons. You also know that Marcus can't just decide to kill someone. Harrison has the same right to a trial as we do. It's not a question of following your orders, it's just a question of figuring out what you're actually going to do."

"What would you do?" Chris asked, genuinely curious.

"Doesn't matter. I'm not worthy enough for the chair anymore, remember?" Jim said with a yawn.

"That's enough, you two," Phil said from somewhere off screen before popping up over Jim's shoulder. "She needs to rest."

"He's almost as bad as Bones," she grumbled under her breath.

"Preaching to the choir, sweetheart." Chris and Phil have been friends for almost eighteen years, he was well aware how much of a tyrant the good doctor could be.

"Watch it," Phil told them.

"I better go before he hypos me again," Jim said.

"We all know how much you hate that." Chris smiled.

"It's the worst," she said with a chuckle. "You know that whatever you decide, I got your back. If you wanna take the Enterprise and turn pirate, I'm totally down for that too. Just, you know, swing by and pick us up."

Chris laughed. "What am I gonna do with you, Miss Kirk?"

"Oh, I have quite a few ideas, if you're interested, Christopher," Jim said, a smirk on her face.

"I do not need to hear any of this," Phil said with a groan.

"He's adorable." She chuckled.

Chris nodded. "That he is. Get some rest, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you more," Jim said.

"Not possible," he told her.

"Anything's possible where I'm concerned. I thought you knew that."

* * *

You would think he just grew another head with the way they were all looking at him. Considering everything that's happened in the last few days, he really couldn't blame them for being surprised or even a bit pissed off.

"So, let me see if I got this," McCoy said. "You wanna go against orders after the riot act you gave Jim."

"It's not about what I want. It's about what we need to do. And Jim is behind me, whatever I decide," Chris said.

"Of course, she is. Nothing's gonna happen to you, _Admiral_ ," the doctor grumbled. "You are like Teflon and she's the one who ends up with all the damn dings." McCoy was seething, and rightfully so. If Jim were here, she'd get into a lot of trouble for doing what Chris was about to do.

"I would be happy to lead the landing party," Spock volunteered.

"You would be happy?" McCoy asked.

"It's a turn of phrase and you know it," Uhura said before Spock could reply. "The area is uninhabited; however, my knowledge of Klingon language and culture would make me a logical addition to the team, just in case."

"Okay," Chris said. "Any recommendations on who else I should send down there?" He could probably pick anyone but, thanks to Jim, he knew that there were certain people who worked together too well to break them up.

"You need Jim's team," McCoy said begrudgingly. "Cupcake... sorry, Hendorff and Edwards. Since Jim's not here, Sulu."

"Alright," Chris said. "We're forty minutes out. Spock and Uhura, notify the others and have them change into civilian attire. Last thing we need is to show up on Qo'noS in uniform. That trade ship from the incident on Phaedus is still in the shuttle bay, correct?"

"We didn't have a chance to off-load it when we got to Earth," Masters said.

Chris nodded. "I assume that Sulu can fly it."

"Sulu can fly anything," McCoy said.

"Good to know," Chris said. "Doc, I need you to stand by. Everyone else, you're dismissed." He watched as the Enterprise's senior officers quickly made their way out of the conference room before looking at the man on his left. "Let's have it."

"Pardon?"

"You're so close to insubordination that if I were anyone else, you'd already be on report. You're pissed off, I get it. Trust me when I tell you that you are not the only one."

"Trust you? Like Jim trusted you?" McCoy asked. "They've had us jumping through hoops all year. Commissioners and ambassadors and commodores literally breathing down Jim's neck. Impossible assignments that they only gave us to trip us up. And now, she gets stripped of a stripe and you get her ship."

"I didn't know until after the fact."

"That doesn't make it better. She still got demoted and…"

"And the only reason she didn't get kicked out is because of me."

Chris had to call in every favor the Admiralty has ever owed him so that the brass wouldn't take her commission. Then, he had to beg Marcus not to bump her down to lieutenant.

"There is nobody, and I do mean nobody, who wants her back in that chair more than I do." Chris took a breath. "All the years I spent building this ship, trying to make it perfect. I didn't realize until now that I built it for her. The only reason I agreed to take command of the Enterprise is so they didn't give it to anyone else."

"So, you're just keeping her seat warm?" McCoy asked, skeptically.

"Until I can figure out how to get her back in it," Chris said. "We're on the same side, Leonard."

"You'll excuse me if I reserve judgement on that one," Jim's best friend said.

"Fair enough. Just put a lid on the insubordination. I don't have a problem with you arguing with me but be respectful about it."

"Understood, sir."


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you being naughty, Christopher?" Jim asked, teasingly. "Please say 'yes'."

"I suppose I am. It's just not the fun kind of naughty; I'm sure you'll help me with that later," Chris told her with a smile she couldn't see. "I would like to know how you were able to override the protocols to connect directly to my communicator."

"You're the one who had my criminal record sealed," she replied as her explanation.

In addition to a handful of drunk and disorderly citations, there were two charges for 'unlawful access to classified information', which was just a fancy way of saying she hacked the fleet database and took her father's logs and complete service record. Nobody in their right mind could actually hold it against her, which is probably why she didn't end up in jail somewhere. And why JAG didn't put up a fight when Chris asked them to seal it.

"I needed to talk to you before you talked to your guest in the brig," Jim continued.

Chris raised an eyebrow. "How did you know we caught him?"

"We both know that I'm not gonna give up my sources. Besides, you already know who it is, all you have to do is think about it," she reminded him.

"McCoy. He's pissed at me."

"He's practically my brother, so, yea," Jim said with a chuckle. "But it's actually a good thing that he called."

"How so?" Chris asked.

"Something about Harrison's file has been bugging me since Daystrom but I didn't have a chance to really think about it, obviously. Now that I can look into it, I am looking into it. And I figured out why it bugged me; the man that Marcus sent you after and John Harrison are two different people," she told him.

"Harrison isn't Harrison?" he asked, less surprised then he probably should be.

"Not even remotely. The real John Harrison died in twenty-two-forty-six on Tarsus Four."

"Really? Did you know him?"

"Only in passing. He was like five years older than me, worked at the main shuttle port. I must've seen him a few times, even though I don't remember him. The official records don't say much but I reached out to my friend, Tom, and he remembers Harrison. After Kodos gave the execution order, John saved a bunch of children before they were forced into the antimatter chamber. He managed to hide like four dozen of them in various places outside the colony with emergency rations before he was killed. Starfleet showed up hours after he died."

Tarsus IV was one of those things that they both know about but don't talk about. Winona, Jim's mother, was assigned as a nurse in Tarsus IV's medical facility when Jim was 12. The pair had been on the colony for all of five months when the crops failed. Then the flora and fauna died. The colony's governor, Kodos, decided to kill half the colony's population so that there was enough food for those he deemed worthy.

Jim and Winona, for a multitude of reasons, were on the safe list. Not only were they 'allowed' to live but Kodos decided to personally see to their 'protection' and had them -forcibly- moved to his home. Jim understands now, and she probably understood then, that Kodos just wanted to use the Kelvin Baby and her mother as leverage with Starfleet, if it ever came to that. Though she doesn't say much about it, it was clear that Kodos even attempted to form some kind of fatherly bond with Jim and, at the very least, gain her loyalty.

When Starfleet showed up, Kodos thought Jim would help him escape. What she did, instead, was steal a sidearm from one of the guards and give it to Winona. For a woman who spends her time tending to the ill and injured, Jim's mother has impressive aim and nobody knows that more than the late-Governor Arnold Kodos.

"How did a dead man join Starfleet?" Chris asked.

"That's the same question I asked myself since everything everybody does goes into a file and on record. So, I've been cross-checking the records. Two of the CO's in his file are dead, one is comms dark on a mission and the one I was able to talk to has never heard of him. I contacted the university that he went to, they have him on record as a student, but they can't pin down any of his papers or research, stuff you'd expect from someone with an anthropology degree. And, according to Scotty, the coding suggests that all the information in the file after twenty-two-forty-six was entered sometime in April of last year."

"Someone went in, added an education and a Starfleet career to a file, erased a man's death and is passing this guy off as him. Do we know who our guest really is?"

"Not yet."

"Do we know what he's after?"

"Nothing definitive."

"But?"

"Those torpedoes seem to be everyone's favorite topic. Official records on them are spotty but, from what I can tell, they came from the Section Thirty-One facility in London some time before the bombing. Maybe fake-Harrison went after them there and had his friend blow the place when he couldn't find them."

"And he shot up Daystrom because Marcus took them," Chris guessed. It was the only thing that made any sense.

"It looks that way. But, I mean, maybe it's a set up," she said. "Maybe Marcus is in the dark as much as we are."

"I taught you better then that, sweetheart. It's tactical analysis one-oh-one."

"Coincidences mean you're on the right path," Jim muttered, paraphrasing a line from one of his lectures.

"Guess Alex got tired of waiting around for his war," Chris mused.

"War with the Klingons achieves nothing. Both their planet and their military have been severely damaged, more so then us. Nero went through their ships like it was nothing and Praxis was destroyed not too long ago. The shockwave from the explosion damaged Qo'noS's ozone layer. According to SciComm, the Klingons have fifty years to come up with a solution, tops. This would the perfect time for diplomacy, not war."

"That's not the way Marcus sees it."

"Of course not. Easiest way to stay in power is to suppress the truth and mislead the innocent. If it's what we think, and Marcus has gone rogue, not-Harrison probably knows too much, which is why he wants you to kill him. Hell, you probably know too much." She went quiet for a second. "You know too much."

"He isn't going to come after me," he said, even though he didn't believe that himself.

"If he's willing to have you fire torpedoes at the Klingons, he obviously doesn't care what happens to you. Unless it was supposed to be me out there with my neck on the line."

"He demoted you."

"Yea, then he gave you the ship and made me your XO. Non-Harrison tried to kill you ten hours later and the only reason you're not dead is because I took that shot for you. The Admiralty is fractured, at best. Add to that that we've been trying to compensate for the tens of thousands of losses at Vulcan and Vulcan itself." She paused. "It's like the perfect set up for a coup, Chris."

"Harrison might not be the monster he's been made out to be. Could just be following orders and Alex tried…" The idea that his friend, his mentor, would try to kill Chris and use the Enterprise to start a war was so unfathomable that he couldn't even say it aloud. "Is there a way to gain access to his itinerary from last April?"

"Technically, there's a way to gain access to everything but, if he's Section Thirty-one like we think he is, we're talking about something a bit beyond my skill level. Scotty and Keenser could probably do it but that would take time, which we don't have. Another Thirty-One agent might be able to help but they don't exactly run around announcing themselves," she told him. "What are you thinking?"

"That if we can figure out where he was, we can figure out who is on this ship. I know from personal experience how much Alex likes to nurture his progenies, which means he was involved in whatever happened in April."

"By 'nurture', you mean groom and brainwash."

"Yes. Yes, I do. He didn't have much luck with me but that doesn't mean he didn't try."

Chris' father, the other Admiral Pike, kept a very close eye on everything Chris has ever done in the fleet. For the longest time, Chris thought his dad was trying to control his career. After taking a few officers under his own wing, Chris realized that his father was only looking out for him.

"Getting into his files would be hard, no matter what, but I do have access to the logs and imagers from the hangers and transporters in and around HQ. And I'll have Scotty go through communications. We may not be able to see the contents but, since everything goes through a relay or two, we can determine where he was when he hit send."

"I have a friend in Intelligence, Poljhoni zh'Dhaven. Jhoni."

"You want me to go see her?"

"Ze'll be able to get you the info we're looking for faster than you hacking in from the apartment. And I'm gonna have someone take a look at those torpedoes," he said. "As soon as I figure out who."

"Since Scotty's here with me, your best bet is the wiz-kid," Jim offered. "I'd say 'Spock' but I know how you are about people risking their XOs."

"My XO is on Earth," Chris pointed out before taking a breath.

"Careful, I'm starting to think you miss me," she teased.

"Every second of every day," he told her.

Jim let out a laugh. "You're getting sappy in your old age."

"I'll show you old, just you wait."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she said with a chuckle.

"I think we both know there's no danger of that, sweetheart," Chris replied. "Please, be careful."

"I will if you will. I love you."

"Love you more."

"Keep telling yourself that."


	5. Chapter 5

"Try that again in Standard, Doc. Or Andorian. Either works for me," Chris told McCoy.

"We have six dozen superhumans stored downstairs," the Chief Medical Officer said, motioning towards the cryotube that now occupied a private room in sickbay.

"There's no such thing," Chris said.

"And yet, here they are," Chekov muttered. "You ever hear of Chrysalis Project, sir?"

Chris shook his head. "Can't say I have."

"The project was an attempt to genetically improve the human race, it was active from the late nineteen-sixties to mid-nineteen-seventy-four," McCoy informed him. "It's the reason we have laws against genetic enhancements outside medical necessity."

"A group of geneticists, microbiologists and teachers believed that humanity was too weak and too unevolved to govern itself. They engineered an advanced class of humans to build Utopia," Spock added. "The subjects of Chrysalis Project would be the cause of your Eugenics Wars."

While Chris didn't know anything about Chrysalis Project, but he knew a fair amount about the Eugenics Wars, especially since many considered them as the first stage of World War III.

From 1992 to 1996, there were a series of conflicts that took place, mostly in the shadows, for control over the world. Most people were unaware of the reason for the fighting, they assumed that it was simply a result of terrorism. People didn't realize that they were moving into a dictatorship until it actually happened. When it was all said and done, the death toll was upwards of 35 million people.

"He's an Augment," Chris said quietly, referring to the man in the cryotube and the man in the brig. "Per a report Jonathan Archer filed in twenty-one-fifty-four, they're all supposed to be dead. The last of the embryos were destroyed over a hundred years ago when Cold Station Twelve went up."

"Yea, about that," McCoy said. "Given the age of the tube and an approximate age of the occupant, he's gotta be about three hundred years old."

"It appears that this man and his counterparts left Earth prior to or immediately following the conclusion of hostilities," Spock said.

"The question, sir, is how," Chekov mused. "How did a man, frozen two hundred and sixty or seventy years ago, end up here and now?"

"The SS Botany Bay. The ship was found adrift last April and I'm guessing that Harrison is the one they woke up," Chris said, earning a look from all three men. "If you think Jim is back in San Francisco sitting on her hands, she's gonna be very disappointed."

"Ya'll set this up," McCoy said. "Jim there and you here."

"I wish I could say we did but we didn't. And since we're on the subject, I might as well tell you. Jim suspects, and I don't disagree, that Marcus has gone rogue. That Harrison may be acting on orders. That the shot he took at me at Daystrom was purposeful. And that our orders were meant to lead to war," Chris told the three officers. If he wanted them to trust him, he was going to have to trust them. "She has been carefully and quietly investigating since Phil let her out of the hospital."

"She's investigating Marcus?" McCoy asked. "If he figures that out…"

"She could be charged with treason," Spock finished.

"Not if he is treasonous party. The regulations are very clear on that matter," Chekov pointed out. "You think he is Section Thirty-One." They all looked at the kid. "I am genius. And it was not that hard to figure out once you put the pieces together."

"I suppose you have a very valid point, Mister Chekov," Chris said. "Is there any way to figure out who they are?"

McCoy shook his head. "Most of the records from back then were destroyed, at least, that's the prevailing theory. So, no ID on this guy. We might have something on our friend in the brig." The doctor picked up a PADD off one of the desks and handed it over. "Harrison's blood tells a very interesting story."

"Interesting how?" Chris asked.

"Aside from genetic enhancements and regenerative properties, his DNA says he's from Northern India. There are also markers that his appearance was altered. Someone did an extensive cosmetic overhaul on him," McCoy told him.

"What is to be gained from hiding his identity?" Spock asked.

"Who knows?" McCoy sighed. "Could've been for a cover."

"Or to hide him from someone in particular," Chekov added.

"Like himself," Chris muttered as realization struck. "I think I know who he is."

* * *

"Did you really rule half of Earth or is that just something they put in the history books to reinforce the whole tyrant thing?" Chris asked the man in his brig.

"You know who I am. He underestimated you," not-Harrison said.

"I'd like to say I wasn't offended but considering that Alex is the one who convinced me to join Starfleet and personally saw to some of my training, he really should know better." Chris sighed. "Then again, he unleashed Khan Noonien Singh on the universe, so I don't have much faith in anything he thinks he knows."

The history records of the Eugenics Wars may be spotty on a lot of things, Khan Noonien Singh wasn't one of them. The leader of the Great Khanate, Khan was -and is- referred to as the last of the tyrants. While a dictator, it was noted that his empire was devoid of genocide and other such atrocities normally associated with similar forms of government. After the Eugenics Wars had been lost, Khan and his followers disappeared.

"Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time, and for that he needed a warrior's mind, my mind, to design weapons and warships," Khan said.

"No, Alex wanted to start a war and he needed someone around who wouldn't try to dissuade him. So, imagine his luck when his buddies in Section Thirty-One come upon six dozen Augments, frozen in time," Chris countered. "Problem is, the Klingons haven't been much of a threat to anyone, especially to the Federation, and especially in the last year. Didn't really matter to him. He found someone to exploit and the means with with to do so. At least, until you figured out who you were. All I wanna know is how."

"He used my friends to control me. I tried to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed, but I was discovered and had no choice but to escape alone. And when I did, I had every reason to suspect that Marcus had killed every single one of the people I hold most dear."

"That's why you shot up Daystorm." Since he didn't phrase it as a question, Chris didn't expect a response, so he was a little surprised that Khan gave him a nod. "He didn't just send us to Qo'noS, he sent you to Qo'noS."

"Over the last year, it had been impressed upon me that Klingon space is unsafe for Federation citizens. That it was the only place to hide if I ever had to run. As I have been sleeping since before Earth entered the galactic community and 'John Harrison' suffered amnesia, I had to rely on the information provided to me. It wasn't until I fled that I realized the nature of the deception," Khan told him.

"He thought of everything, didn't he?" Chris asked under his breath.

"Including the possibility that your conscience would override your sense of duty," Khan said just as the whistle for the communications system went off.

"Proximity alert, sir. There's a ship at warp heading right for us," Uhura warned from the bridge.

"Understood, Lieutenant," Chris said before he turned to the security officer. "Move him to the medbay, post a six-man team."

"Yes, sir," the kid said as Chris ran out of the brig.

* * *

"Captain on the bridge," Chekov called when Chris entered the room.

"ETA?" he asked, taking the command chair from Spock.

"Ten seconds, sir," Sulu told him.

"Shields up. Stand by for battle stations," Chris ordered.

"Aye, sir," Sulu said with a nod just as an imposing ship dropped out of warp in front of the Enterprise.

"We're being hailed," Uhura said.

Chris took a steadying breath. "Who are we to keep him waiting? Onscreen."

"Chris," Marcus said as soon as he appeared.

"That a new ship, Alex?" Chris asked. "How do I get one of these?"

"Following orders, for starters," Marcus said. "I wasn't expecting to get word that you'd taken Harrison into custody. I thought I made myself very clear when you stopped by my office."

"You did, sir," Chris said. "But considering that he had an accomplice blow up the Kelvin Memorial Archive, I made a judgement call in the interest of insuring that he didn't have other officers poised to do the same to other Federation facilities. You taught me that any time we can prevent the loss of life, we should take it."

"Captain, they are scanning our ship," Spock said quietly.

"Is there something I can help you find, sir?" Chris asked. He already knew the answer but, if he can play dumb, he might be able to buy some time.

"Where's your prisoner?" Marcus asked.

Chris gave his mentor a look. "He should be in the brig."

"We both know he's not. What are you up to?" the other admiral asked.

"Well, per Starfleet regulation forty-nine-point-oh-nine, I'm returning him to Earth to stand trial. Unless, I shouldn't, for some reason," Chris said. "What did you do, Alex?"

"I took a risk," Marcus told him.

"Which time?" Chris asked. "When you woke up a warlord from the twentieth century? Or when you held his crew as ransom and forced him to do your dirty work?"

"Well, shit. You talked to him."

"While I did have a conversation with him, Khan didn't give me that info. You did." Chris rose from the chair. "When I was in the academy, you said that the best tactical advantage one has is to simply pay attention. I'm just trying to figure out when you joined Section Thirty-One. Was it in the academy? Was it when you served with my dad? When did you decide to turn your back on Starfleet?"

"I'm doing this for Starfleet. We have become weak and complacent. We are soldiers."

"No, we're explorers. We only defend the Federation when we need to. We don't create that need. We don't abandon the principles on which we were founded."

"And that is the kind of thinking that will get us all killed."

"I'd rather die with honor then to live without it," Chris said.

"Then you'll die." Marcus looked at someone off screen. "Lock phasers."

"You aren't going to kill us," Chris told the other man.

"I thought you were above arrogance, Chris," Marcus said.

"I'm not arrogant, Alex, I just have faith," Chris said. "Faith that your entire weapons system was disabled without you even noticing." It was comical the look that the officers on both Marcus' bridge and on the Enterprise sent his way. "Guess you should've been paying attention."

When Jim, Jhoni and Scott pinned down where Marcus' had been in and around April, a set of coordinates on the edge of Jupiter orbit kept popping up. Together, the trio decided to head out and take a look. While there, they found a ship, Marcus' ship, and snuck aboard.

"Sir," one of Marcus' officers said, "our weapons are down. Shields and targeting are both offline."

"Get them back up," Marcus ordered.

"They can't." Chris did his best to stifle a smile at the sound of Jim's voice as she strolled onto the bridge, stopping only to squeeze Uhura's shoulder. "Scotty was very thorough, it'll take you a week to fix. He doesn't like when people come after his baby. Speaking of kids, yours says 'hi'. Oh, and some friends wanna have a chat with you." Three ships, similar to Marcus' but different in various ways, uncloaked around them. "Apparently, you're not loyal to anyone."

"You," Marcus growled.

"Yea, me," Jim replied with a smirk. "Hi."

"We're being hailed by one of the other ships," Uhura told them.

"Onscreen," Jim and Chris replied in unison.

"Sorry," Jim muttered.

"Don't be," Chris said. "Lieutenant."

"I must admit, I'm impressed," the distorted figure now occupying the viewscreen said.

"I don't really care," Jim said. "Deal's a deal. Even if it's with the devil."

"Indeed, it is, Miss Kirk," the figure agreed. "The ship will be returned to Earth, sans personnel and some intelligence. We have to debrief Marcus but Commander zh'Dhaven will stay aboard while we do."

"Understood. The torpedoes are in the weapons bay, the cryotubes have been removed. They're all yours," she said. "Let's not do this again, huh?"

"Regardless of what you may think of us, the Federation is always our top priority. Marcus just set us back decades," their faceless friend said.

"That is one thing I guess we can agree on. Enterprise out," Jim said before she turned to face him. "You have some very interesting friends. The crazy admiral, Shran's granddaughter, Phil."

"I suppose I do," Chris said. "Is that gonna come back and bite us in the ass?"

"What, making a deal with Section Thirty-One? Probably. Just not this week," she told him. "We got Khan and his people. Jhoni's with Marcus. The ship will get dropped off with the corps of engineers. And we get to go home. All in a day's work for someone still on medical leave."

Chris couldn't help but laugh, especially at the looks her friends gave her. "You're gonna give me gray hair."

"You already have gray hair. I happen to find it very attractive," Jim told him.

"You are trouble," Chris said with a chuckle.

"That is what the T stands for."


	6. Chapter 6

Though he knew where she was, he was still a little surprised to find her at the desk in the ready room. Technically, since her demotion and his mission happened right on top of each other, it was still very much her space and Chris had a hard time imagining anyone other then her working from here. At the same time, Jim is the last person anyone could picture working from a desk.

"Doing my paperwork?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, you wish. I'm checking in with Keenser. Marine detachment is gonna meet us when we dock to secure Khan and his crew," she told him.

"Do I wanna know how you got a bunch of Marines on standby?"

"I called my mom and my mom called Uncle Chiro. Considering that I make it a point not to pull either of them into my shenanigans…" She let the sentence drop but he got her meaning.

Admiral Heihachiro Nogura was currently the Director of the Department of Strategic Plans and Policy. 26 years ago, he was Captain Richard Robau's yeoman on the Kelvin and, unbeknownst to most people, one of George Kirk's closest friends. Unlike most of the other survivors of Nero's first attack, Nogura was one of the few who maintained a relationship with the Kirk family after all the fanfare died down.

According to Jim, when her uncle and Winona's brother, Frank, sustained a brain injury at work and had to be hospitalized, Nogura took a four month leave of absence to stay with Jim until Winona got back from a mission. And, when Jim and Winona returned to Earth after Tarsus IV, Nogura offered them a safe haven in the form of his home in the Colorado Rockies. The three times Chris has seen them together, it was clear that, even with George's loss, she still had a good dad looking after her. Though it might've taken her some time to realize it.

Like Chris, Nogura was not invited to the meeting that determined Jim's punishment for Nibiru. Now that Chris was thinking about it, Barnett and Paris weren't invited to that meeting either. The four of them, who were in Jim's corner for one reason or another, might not have been enough to stop her from getting demoted but they could have, at the very least, required that Jim be allowed to defend her actions. Not that it would've made much difference considering that they now know what Alex was up to.

Jim blew out a breath. "Can I ask you something that I already know the answer to without worrying that you'll be all offended?"

"You wanna know if I knew what he was planning, even though you know that I didn't. I'm not offended," Chris said. "I do wish I had some idea of what he was doing. I could've said something or done something. Maybe you wouldn't have gotten shot."

"He was your mentor, Chris. You had no reason to think he was capable of something like this," she pointed out. "Just like I would never believe you were capable of something like this. None of this is your fault."

"You sound like Phil."

"Well, I make it a habit to listen to medical officers. Mostly so they don't hypo me and call my mother."

"She is scary."

"Yea. And brave and amazing and all these things that I'd be lucky to be when I grow up." Jim chuckled before looking up at him with a concerned smile. "Are you okay?"

"I don't have much of a choice right now," he told her. There was a ship full of confused officers that he needed to get home. And then, maybe, he'll have time to process the fact that Alex tried to kill them. "I can't believe that Alex… I don't even care that he tried to kill me. The fact that he tried to kill you... I can't… The feeling of you, practically lifeless in my arms, is something that I will never be able to forget. It's… I don't even…"

"Hey." He didn't realize that she got up until she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm not even close to done yet. I still haven't made good on all those longing looks I sent your way when I was in the academy."

"There were a lot of them," Chris said, remembering the multiple conversations he had with Barnett on that particular subject.

"There is a lot to admire. You are extraordinary, Christopher Richard McKinnes Pike."

"Stop it. You're gonna make me blush."

"You blush, really?" Jim asked with mock surprise. "Who knew you were such a big softy, Admiral?"

"Only when it comes to you, sweetheart," he pointed out with a smile.

"I think your mom would disagree with that."

"Okay, only when it comes to my favorite ladies. How's that?"

"Much better." Resting her head on his shoulder, she let out a sigh. "You know, Daystrom was a no-brainer, right? I saw him aim for you and the whole universe just stopped. Getting to you, protecting you, was the only thing I could think of. The only thing I could do. I told you; I can live without the ship, no matter how much it pains me, but I cannot live without you. Don't want to."

"I thought I lost you for a minute there." Chris tucked her hair behind her ear and held her face in his hand. Jim smiled and pressed a kiss on the inside of his wrist.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"Of course not," he said before pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

"Mmm, one more." Chris was more then happy to oblige, pulling her into another kiss. Jim let out a sigh before whispering against his lips. "Can't we just stay in here and let someone else clean up this mess?"

"Not if we want everything handled right."

"Could be said that I'm the last person to call when you want something done right. Fast, creative, against all odds? Sure. Right? Not so much."

"You are true to yourself, to your ideals and to your morals. It doesn't get any more right than that, sweetheart. If it weren't for you, we'd all be dead. You did good."

" _We_ did good." Jim smiled. "You know, we make a pretty awesome team. Maybe sticking around as your XO won't be the worst thing in the universe. Apparently, I'm not the only one who likes to ignore regs when they aren't working in my favor."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, feigning ignorance. "When we get back, we're going to get your rank and assignment sorted out. There is only one captain of the Enterprise and it sure as hell ain't me."

"Okay, you know what? Stop being cute and go do command type things before I lock you in here and have my way with you," she jokingly ordered.

"Any other day and I'd probably let you," Chris admitted. "You wanna come with me?"

"Oh, no. No, no, no. Phil said I could come out here and save your ass, but I was expressly forbidden from doing anything else. I'd ignore him but Bones would have me in sickbay before I knew what was happening. So, I'm good. I'll stay here and start the paperwork."

"You won't get any argument from me."

* * *

Did they really have to do this right now? The brass has been turning a blind eye to everything that didn't fit their agenda for the last year -at least- and now, when they had two crews and some prisoners to sort out, the Admiralty had Chris, Jim and Spock sitting in a room and talking about what amounted to nothing. Sure, the brass asked questions but, as usual, they were the wrong questions.

"Are we boring you, Kirk?" Komack asked as smugly as he could muster when Jim let out a -slightly overexaggerated- yawn.

Chris could see a retort on the tip of her tongue before Jim took a breath and closed it off like he'd seen her do so many times. "I was shot at Daystrom and ordered to appear here against medical advice. I'm not bored, I'm exhausted. And you're wasting everybody's time with a bunch of pointless questions that continue to skirt around the issue."

"And what issue is that?" Komack challenged.

"Marcus had troops and resources pulled from all over the fleet to fight a war with Klingons," Chris answered.

"A war he tried to start by having his pet Augment shoot up Daystrom, then sending the Enterprise to fire a bunch of torpedoes at Qo'noS," Jim added. "But, by all means, keep asking dumb questions. It's not like there's a fleet out there to run or anything."

"Watch it, Kirk," Komack said.

"Why should she?" Barnett asked. "The most important thing we teach at the academy is that we are all responsible for each other. Marcus enslaved someone. And who knows if this Khan person was the extent of it."

"Not to mention the technology that he incorporated in this… Vengeance and his station," Paris interjected. "I have been building Yorktown for the better part of a decade. Do you know what we could've done with those resources and personnel?"

"He tired to kill me and thousand other people to propagate his war," Chris said. "The question you should be asking yourselves is; what are we going to do about it?"

"You have no proof." Komack tried it. On some level, Chris knew he would, but he didn't think the man would have the audacity to try it here and now.

"Yes, we do," Jim said with a smirk. "We just didn't give it to you, _sir_."

"As we speak, the Federation Security, Judiciary, and Intelligence Councils are convening an emergency session in an unknown location to review the information that we, in conjunction with Starfleet Intelligence, uncovered regarding Marcus' actions," Spock added.

"You went over our heads," Komack growled.

"Yes," Spock answered plainly.

"Other than two people in this room, there was no way for us to know who we could trust with it," Jim reminded them.

"And you trust the Council," Admiral Chandra asked.

"No. We trust Ambassador Sarek," Chris said. "Vulcans don't lie and, whether they show it or not, they are protective of their families. The Commander's father assured us that he could personally ensure that the council reviewed that information."

"Section Thirty-One is as much as pain in their asses as it is in ours. If we can come up with a solution to them, we'll all be better off," Jim added.

"They helped you," Paris said.

"No, ma'am, they helped themselves. All I did was ensure that nobody else got hurt," Jim said, correcting the lingering assumption.

"Which is and always will be our main priority," Nogura said as he walked into the room. On instinct, Jim and Spock moved to stand but he waved them off. "I haven't been acting CINC for a whole hour and that is already annoying."

"Sorry, sir," Jim said with a small smile.

Nogura shook his head with a chuckle before he looked around the room. "I'm gonna make this quick. Section Thirty-One turned Marcus over to us twenty minutes ago. He's being held in a secure facility, as is Khan. We have officers preparing to debrief them now. President Mintaine has reviewed a small portion of the information obtained by the Enterprise crew and is, understandably, distressed. Over the next few days, we will begin implementing changes to Starfleet as a whole, and to the Admiralty, in particular. Kirk, your demotion is invalid, as is your reassignment."

"Does that mean I get her back?" Jim asked, hopeful.

"Yes," Nogura said with a nod. If Chris didn't know any better, he would swear that she was about to cry. "Sorry, Pike."

"Don't be, sir. The right person's in that chair," Chris replied with a smile. If there was a way to stay on the ship with her, he'd take it but this wasn't the place or time to broach the subject with their new commanding officer.

"Glad to hear it. That is all I have for the three of you," Nogura said, motioning to Chris, Jim and Spock. "I'm ordering the Enterprise to go on leave for the next month. In this case, that includes you, Pike. The senior staff will need to stay in the system but everyone else is free to go."

"Understood, sir," Jim, Chris and Spock said in unison before being dismissed.

"A whole month off," Jim whispered as soon as they were in the corridor.

"We have to stay in the system in case they recall us, which they probably will. So, not really a month off. More like a month on call," Chris pointed out.

Jim smiled up at him. "Semantics."


	7. Chapter 7

"So, do you want to stay here for leave or go up to the cabin?" Jim asked after they walked into the apartment. "I'm cool if you just wanna be alone with your thoughts too. I mean, I could probably go to Iowa. Or Georgia. Or…"

"I wanna see it," Chris said, cutting off the beginning of her -usually self-deprecating- babbling.

"See what?"

"Your back. I wanna see it."

"There's nothing there," she told him, opening her uniform jacket and putting her hands on her hips. "Phil did an excellent job. Apparently, I don't even have a scar. I can't see it, obviously, but I'll take his word for it."

"I know. I just… I need to see for myself." It has taken every ounce of self-control he had not to pull her out of her clothes and inspect every inch of her body hours ago. They were finally, blessedly, alone and he couldn't keep a lid on that particular feeling anymore. "Please."

Jim didn't say anything, she just stared at him, her bright blue eyes searching for something in his face. He could never really be sure what she was looking for, even when she's an open book, Jim is still very much a mystery. It's one of the reasons he found himself drawn to her, no matter how hard he tried not to be.

"Jim…" he started but she held up a hand to stop him from asking again. Jim tugged her jacket off, letting it drop to the floor at her feet before she pulled her black undershirt over her head in one swift motion and dropped it too.

Slowly, Chris took the handful of steps over to her just as she turned to show him her back. Like she -and Phil- had said, there was no indication that anything had happened to her three and a half days ago. No sign of the damage that Khan had caused. No evidence that she almost died saving Chris' life.

"We have our memories," she reminded him. "That's more than enough evidence."

"I said that aloud, didn't I?" Chris asked, his hand reaching out to glide over the smooth skin. He felt her breathing change at the contact. "Still tender?"

"Not tender, it's just… it's new skin. And yes, you did say that whole no evidence thing out loud. Even if you didn't, I kinda know what you're thinking anyway."

"Oh, and what am I thinking?"

"That there's no scar or mark on me, so it's like it never happened. But the feeling… the feeling of me slamming into you. Of me unconscious in your arms. The sight of my blood on your uniform… on your hands…" Jim turned to look up at him, Chris' hand dropping to rest on her hip. "It's something you can't erase. It's just under your skin and you are terrified. Even now. And I get it. A bit more then I'd like, actually."

"How's that?" he asked.

"Well, there's some stuff with my mom. But there's also you."

"Me?"

"Yea. When I found you on that ship… What Nero did to you. I, uh… I know you probably don't remember this but I slept in a chair next to your bio-bed in medical after we got back. I'm sure I fueled more rumors then we could ever hope to combat but I couldn't exactly help it," she explained.

"You're right; I don't remember that."

"Well, they did have you sedated into oblivion. I mean, five surgeries was a lot but that's not the point. The point is that I needed to see your chest rise and fall. I needed to hear the beeping of the monitor that let me know your heart was strong and steady." She placed her hand on his chest, just over his heart. "Being told that you were okay it just… It wasn't enough. Every time I closed my eyes it was like we were…"

"It was like we were on the Narada." Chris could tell from the look on her face how much it still bothers her, not rescuing him before Nero forced that slug down his throat and fucked up his spinal cord.

She nodded, blinking back the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "Anyway. It took me a while to figure out why it bothered me so much. Guess I was always a little bit in love with you and I just couldn't admit it to myself."

"Took you eight months before you said anything to me."

"I'm a trouble-maker and literally half your age. Better women then I have tried to get your attention, Admiral," Jim teased.

"You mean to tell me that there are better women then the Savior of Earth?"

"There are plenty. I mean, if everyone only knew what a fraud I was. Billions of people in danger and I was only worried about one."

"Must've been something special for you to be so concerned."

"He's very special. Though, I am starting to wonder how he survived this long without me."

"To be honest, I was probably safer before I pulled you out of that bar. You are the embodiment of trouble."

"I suppose that's fair," Jim said with a chuckle before pressing a kiss against the underside of his jaw. "I'm gonna go take a shower. If you are still concerned about my physical well-being, you should join me. You know, to make absolutely sure that I'm okay and that I don't get into any trouble along the way."

"Well, it has been said that I'm nothing if not thorough."

"I can definitely vouch for that."

* * *

"You're staring at me," Chris said quietly, glancing over at the bed.

"Have you seen you? It's kinda hard not to stare," Jim teased with a yawn. "I have to seriously consider if waking up with this view is better than waking up in your arms. Maybe you should go shirtless for the rest of our leave, you know, so I can make a more informed decision."

"I think this is just an attempt for you to keep me in bed," he told her.

"That's a good view too. More than one, actually. You with your hair all messy. Relaxed. Only slightly better than you when you're _not so relaxed_. I don't see any of that nearly as much as I'd like, especially since you're always stressed about one thing or another. Probably why you've been awake for the last few hours."

"You just woke up. How do you know that?"

"Because I've been cuddling with your pillow and your side of the bed is cold. Did you get any sleep?"

"Some."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No, I want you to rest."

"And I want you to rest. Which, apparently, isn't gonna happen any time soon," she said before pushing her hair out of her face. "It's not your fault."

"That's not what's bothering me," Chris whispered.

"I know. It's Marcus. Still not your fault."

"I should've seen it, Jim. I should've known."

"His own daughter didn't what was going on until it was too late," Jim reminded him.

He scoffed. "No offense to Carol, but I've known Alex longer than she's been alive."

"So, has Barnett. And Komack, my mother, your father and who knows who else. Are you gonna blame all of them too?" she asked. "Granted, someone should've noticed but I doubt it was gonna be any of you. That would be highly illogical."

"You spend too much time with Spock," Chris said with a chuckle.

"Hey, that's blasphemy." She pouted. "Me and Spock… and Bones are gonna be together until we're old and gray. The crew refers to us collectively as McSpirk. The other Spock thinks it's hilarious but also true."

"Your crew has a nickname for the three of you?"

"More then one, according to Uhura and she hears everything. They have one for us too."

"Do they?" he asked.

"Yep. They refer to us as Pirk," Jim informed him. "It's both a play on our names and the word perk. You know, like perky, cheerful. Something about us being happier together. I'd love to dispute it but it's a pretty accurate description of our relationship. Even before, you know," she motioned between them, "this part happened. Though, it's not so accurate right now because you're miserable and there's nothing I can do to fix it."

"You're here. That's probably the only thing keeping me sane."

"You give me too much credit." She chuckled. "Your sanity does not hinge on my presence. But it is very sweet of you to say so."

"Are you sure about that?" Chris asked.

"You being sweet? Absolutely," Jim replied. Chris gave her a look. "You're perfectly sane, Christopher, even when you feel like you're not. That's the whole point of fear; to stop good men in their tracks. To make them question themselves. And you are a very good man. You're probably the best man I know. One day, you'll believe in yourself as much as you believe in me."

"Did you just give me a pep talk?"

"I tried. Wasn't as good as one of yours but I hope I got my point across."

"You did. Mostly."

"Good. Now come back to bed."

Chris smiled. "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

"So, I found a solution for our... fraternization and/or never seeing each other problem."

"Fraternization doesn't count anymore. Nogura already had command transferred back to you," Chris reminded her.

"Yes, but the other part of it, the 'you'll be here when we leave' part is still valid. You hate being grounded and you like me," Jim said.

"Love you."

"Love you too. Which is why I have an idea. If you're interested."

"I'm listening," he said, sitting his coffee cup on the table.

"Okay, so the term flagship originated as old maritime jargon…"

"I know that," he said, interrupting her. Jim just rolled her eyes and continued.

"…which was fundamentally a temporary designation used whenever an admiral's flag is being flown on a ship. From the flagship, an admiral would command squadrons or strike groups and even missions. Some flagships would have a separate bridge and technical facilities for the admiral and their staff while the captain of the ship commanded from the main bridge."

"I could command the Constitution class from the Enterprise while you command the ship itself," Chris said, following her train of thought. "That's… very third option of you."

"Right. If we go with the old school meaning of the word, we could have a flagship that actually means flagship. And the best part is that the brass will love it," she said. "I, admittedly, got command too soon. With you on the ship, they would have someone keeping tabs on me, so they could stop sending random people to observe me. You would also have the authority to take command, if you think I'm fucking up. When you have to go to bat for me, you'll be defending my actions via experience and not my reports."

"And when I sing your praises, that'll be from experience too," he pointed out.

"That too." Jim smiled. "Think they'll go for it? I mean, we have the space on the ship to make it happen. And it makes sense."

"I honestly don't know what Nogura will do. I do know that you'd probably have better luck getting him to hear you out about it then I will."

"Uh huh. Does he scare you?"

"Not as much as your mother," Chris admitted.

"My mother's not scary. She just… she worries. Considering everything that my family's been through since I was born, can't exactly blame her. You wanna talk about scary parents, Charles Joshua comes to mind."

"He prefers C.J."

"Only with people he likes, which does not include me." She sighed. "Talk to him, yet?"

"No. He'll reach out when he's ready. Maybe." Chris watched Jim's face, he could the uncertainty lingering behind her eyes. "It's not your fault."

"I'm not exactly helping."

"It's still not you, sweetheart."

"Uh huh."

Both his father and her mother had issues with their relationship, with one big difference. Where Winona was worried about Jim getting her heart broken and people not taking her seriously because she was dating an admiral twice her age, C.J. was more worried about what their relationship would do to his image. Chris couldn't exactly blame him, especially since Chris was only slightly younger then Winona. Jim, for better or worse, was _just_ young enough to be Chris' daughter.

"Okay, it's partly you," he admitted. "He'll get over it, eventually."

"Doubt it." Jim rolled her eyes. "You Pike men are a stubborn bunch."

"So are you Kirk women."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a while. This massive case of writer's block has been killing me. Hopefully, it's run it's course for the time being.

Chris was trying his hardest not to fall for the look that Jim was sending his way. It was the same look she had when she knew something that everyone else didn’t and it was difficult not to cave. “I’m not going to ask.”

“But you want to. You know you do,” she told him.

“I’m a little curious but I can wait for you to tell me. I have something called self-control, sweetheart.”

She rolled her eyes. “I happen to know, for a fact, that with the right words and the right touch you, my dear, are putty in my hands.”

“Is that what you think?” he asked with a smile.

“Unequivocally.” Jim chuckled. “I mean, I wasn’t even good enough to get into the academy on my own. So, how else do you explain all your awesomeness ending up with the likes of me?”

“That’s easy; you’re brilliant and you have a good heart. Almost too good for us mere mortals.” He smiled. “Who told you about your admission?”

“Phil might’ve let some stuff slip when I was in the hospital. Went digging for the rest when curiosity got the better of me. Uncle Chiro would neither confirm nor deny when I asked him about it today, which means that what little I do know is right. You took a hit getting me into the academy and you didn’t bother to tell me.”

“Nothing to tell,” Chris said.

“Really? Because your father has been holding a grudge against me for four years and, apparently, this is the reason why,” Jim pointed out.

“I already told you, you’re not the problem. My father is stubborn, Jim. He always has been.”

Chris once told Jim that growing up Pike was almost as bad as growing up Kirk. Instead of random people thinking that she didn’t measure up to her father, he got the pleasure of seeing the look of disappointment in his father’s eyes on more than a few occasions. Now, that’s not to say that C.J. was a bad father, he wasn’t, he was just overly austere. Everything and everyone had a purpose and a place and rules to follow, anything outside of that was chaos. And who was more chaotic then James Tabitha Kirk?

Unlike everyone else who has ever joined up, Jim is probably the only person who made Starfleet bend to suit her instead of conforming to suit the fleet. Chris spent, and still spends, about thirty percent of his time putting out fires that Jim’s antics have started. She’s done everything from question curriculum to creative stunts in her tactical practical applications to outright flouting certain rules that went against her morals; saving Nibiru is a perfect example.

The thing that most people didn’t understand, especially his father, is that Jim’s disregard for Starfleet’s status quo is the exact reason they need her. The Federations has been running around doing the same shit for a century and it’s gotten them nowhere. Have they made treaties with more planets and brought new allies into the fold? Sure. But they are still fighting the same battles, with the same enemies and with the same rules.

Now, more than Chris could’ve ever imagined, there needs to be a change in the way the fleet does business and Jim is that change. She’s a captain with the wonder of an explorer, the mind of a solider and the heart of a humanitarian whose loyalty isn’t to rules or governments but to the people. She, and the rest of her friends, are leading the charge for Starfleet’s rebirth.  

They were creating a place where officers like Scott can make it all the way through the Command College before switching to engineering because he decided that, as much as he respects his father, he had to do what he loved and not what was expected of him. Or where people like McCoy go to rebuild a new life after the previous one fell apart. Of course, there’s Jim and Spock, the lost geniuses searching for their place in the universe while -unnecessarily- trying to atone for the sins and wins of their fathers.

Therein lies the problem. If Jim and her crew represent the future of Starfleet, and they’re here now, what does that mean for officers like Georgiou, April, Decker, even Pike?

It’s something that he’s had to ask himself a few times over the last few years. But no matter what answer he came up with, it always managed to somehow leave him feeling hopeful. For all her flaws, which she’d readily admit, there is no one better suited to the task of representing the Federation then Jim. And her crew, an amalgamation of world-worn survivors and shining stars, were truly the best and brightest.

C.J. staunchly disagrees.

There were quite a few people that think the Federation would be better served if Chris had left Jim in that rundown bar where he found her. Most of them have either changed their tune in light of what she’s managed to accomplish, or they just choose not to say anything to her about it. C.J., on the other hand, has not been shy about addressing his disapproval of Jim with anyone who will listen. Unfortunately, Chris has caught the brunt of it for a whole host of reasons.

Jim tried, she really did, to get on C.J.’s good side. She even listened as the elder Pike picked apart her life, taking his complaints and criticisms with a grace that betrayed the ‘rebel without a cause’ attitude that’s she’s known for. However, the second C.J. questioned Chris’ actions, especially on the Narada, Jim had reached her limit. Knowing what he now knows about the days surrounding and immediately after she rescued him from Nero, Chris understands why it pissed her off so much.

“We’re all stubborn, Chris. That doesn’t explain you giving up the USS Arizona and a two-year mission to stay in San Francisco and look after me. Who does that?” she asked. “Why would you let the brass do that to you?”

“I didn’t _let_ the brass do anything to me, I just let them think they did.”

It wasn’t something he intended but it happened none the less. When Chris made his pitch to the admissions board for Jim to get into SA, Barnett was the only person who didn’t seem to automatically have an issue with it. For an hour, Chris tried to convince the others that Jim was worth taking a chance on and that’s when Komack made the off-handed comment that if Chris believed in her so much, he should stick around to mentor her himself. Apparently, nobody thought he would actually do it.

“Wait. What? I don’t follow,” Jim muttered.

“You’re not the only one around here with a trick or two up your sleeve. While it is true that I took that frustrating assignment at the Academy to watch over you, I never took a hit to my career.” He smiled. “I forced the Admiralty to promote Number One, which was six years overdue anyway and I got bumped to the top of the list for the Enterprise. Serving as your advisor, while not my favorite job, was necessary to placate Phil. If I didn’t agree to shore duty, he was going to put me on medical leave.”

“You played the brass.” Jim’s face lit up with a bright smile. “Got me thinking I’m the bad influence around here.”

“You are but in the best way.”

“Stop being charming. You still didn’t answer my question.”

“I didn’t tell you because there was no reason to. You were under enough pressure and scrutiny just for being a Kirk. And people were already giving you shit for being my favorite from day one. I wasn’t going to add to the weight on your shoulders, Atlas. Besides, both you and Erin proved me right and the Enterprise is in the best hands.” Jim looked at him like she didn’t fully believe him. Chris sighed. “I know you feel like you stole the ship from me…”

“I did.”

“No, you didn’t. The Enterprise, like every other ship in the fleet, is a tool. And a tool is only as good as the person who welds it. Could any trained command officer take over that ship? Sure. Would that make them the captain? No, because you are that ship’s captain. It is in every fiber of your being. It’s in the way your heartbeat syncs to the warp core. The way the Enterprise shines a light into all the dark spaces, same as you do. It’s like I told McCoy, that ship was always yours. If anything, I’m the interloper.”

“No, you are the creator. Your touch is all over that ship and it’s captain,” she said.

“That a euphemism?”

“Wasn’t supposed to be.” Jim laughed. “I don’t think you realize that you pulled off something mom and Uncle Chiro spent over a decade trying to do.”

“They tied to get you into the fleet?”

“Hell, no. Mom hates that I joined up, even though she’s very proud of how well I’m doing. What they tried and failed to do was get me to care. Until you showed, I didn’t. I was so angry after Tarsus Four that I spent years fucking, fighting and drinking; anything to numb that feeling of being worthless and helpless and terrified. And then you gave me that infurating look of disappointment mixed with understanding and the next thing I know, I’m on a shuttle to fleet HQ. It was kinda nauseating.”

“You sure that wasn’t because McCoy threw up on you?”

“Hardly.” Chris watched as Jim’s eyes focused on the world outside the window, a question just on the tip of her tongue.

“You want to know if I regret it,” he said.

“Now that I know you gamed the brass, I doubt you would have any reason to.”

“Even if they hadn’t given me what I wanted and knowing full well what a pain in the ass you can be, I still would’ve stayed here for you.”

“I can’t decide if that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard or the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Jim said, shaking her head.

“How about,” Chris tugged her arm to pull her against his chest, “we just go with both.”


End file.
